It goes on and on my friends.

Last night at a friend's house a group of girls gathered to read excerpts from brilliant writers and poems by both silly and profound poets. As it turned out we were all menstruating, so it became a perfect chance to share the discomfort and heightened emotions.

I read a poem by Allen Ginsburg and since I've recently realized the lagging pain of a breakup from months ago, a breakup I honestly still wish could be mended, I read the second half through tears.
Here it is:

Lack Love
Love wears down to bare truth
My heart hurt me much in youth
Now I hear my real heart beat
Strong and hollow thump of meat

I felt my heart wrong as an ache
Sore in dreams and raw awake
I'd kiss each new love on the chest
Trembling hug him breast to breast

Kiss his belly, kiss his eye
Kiss his ruddy boyish thigh
Kiss his feet kiss his pink cheek
Kiss behind him naked meek

Now I lie alone, and a youth
Stalks my house, he won't in truth
Come to bed with me, instead
Loves the thoughts inside my head

He knows how much I think of him
Holds my heart his painful whim
Looks thru me with mocking eyes
Steals my feelings, drinks and lies

Till I see Love's empty Truth
Think back on heart broken youth
Hear my heart beat red in bed
Thick and living, love rejected.

I don't know. I'm not usually that sappy, at least not on the outside, but it felt good to publicly wallow in it for a night.

Then this morning, my sadness hangover combined with my having to run out the door ten minutes after waking, and my lack of skill with oils, made painting class nearly intolerable. I sat there, struggling to make a painting I could stand to look at, wanting to cry.
But 6 hours later, a group of us were off to Seattle for some art gallery explorations and that was awesome. The art wasn't that great, but being in a group of friends and communally ragging on it was incredible. (Some of it was sweet, just the majority was not.)

P.s. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, but they'll continue singing it forever just because it is the song that never ends...





...I don't know why but that song came to my head.