Halloween

Last night me and the awesome group of girls who've adopted me went out dancing in our costumes.
I would post a picture, but I don't have one yet.

I was the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater. :) Some people actually got it immediately. That suprised me.
Maryann was Bjork in her famous swan dress. It was beautiful. At 80s night I tried so hard to get them to play a Bjork song but apparently the DJ didn't know her or didn't want to play her. That was a bummer. It would have been perfect for Maryann.
Vanessa was a really cute pumpkin with a little French pumpkin barret.
And rachelle was tinkerbell.

Tonight we're going to another halloween bash so I'll post about more costumes I see. I'm sure there'll be some interesting ones.

may or may not be tacky

I'm posting a photo of a snowy mountain so that later, when I'm navigating through dreams I can see an image that will remind me of what dream that was instead of having to read through all the blogs to find one.
I may or may not continue to do this.
I wish I could take a snapshot of a still from an actual dream scene. That would be far better.

10-30-08

I saw someone I've unintentionally hurt while at some science museum/art gallery/nature observatory. There were a lot of people there, mostly my age.
He came over to me with a big confident smile on his face and said, "We should talk sometime," and I eagerly replied, "Yes! How about right now!" We walked together through the crowds of people, across a wooden bridge and tried to find a place we had some privacy. I don't know if we ever found it, but I was so happy that he didn't seem upset with me anymore and we had the chance to hash things out finally. If only that was true...

Also my mom and someone went on a trip to the biggest snowy mountain in the country. Before leaving I told my mom it would be a really difficult hike, but she told me not to worry, that she was looking forward to it. It wasn't cold, but it was white. We took the famous hike up to the mountain, winding around large rocks and through vast fields. We passed by a waterfall I couldn't see the top off. The trail was really narrow in parts and difficult to navigate. When we got to the mountain the rest of the hike was straight up the steep incline of a snowy hill. We did it, and it felt vaguely familiar. I had been there before. At the top there were buildings for the hikers who made it, a sort of cool person club for those intense enough to climb the mountain. We hung out in there. I went to the restroom. The lighting was really dim in there and I looked at myself in the two mirrors on either sides of the corner.

Then we were back at the house, a large house. My parents were there, Alisha was there sprawled on the floor writing or drawing, Justin was on his way, and Shaun and Leila were there but I couldn't see them. When I was informed of Justin's near arrival I thought, "wow. it's the whole family!," but Sebrina and Madison couldn't make it, so then I realized that wasn't quite true and didn't say anything. Then I didn't really dream for a little while. I was just thinking. I was trying to remember the last time the whole family was together and when the next time potentially would be. It was too difficult to think about real time, so that didn't last long and I was back in dreamland in an instant.

Now that I think about it, I guess my sister's wedding in June will be the next time we're all together...which really will be the first time we're ALL together including Alex, her soon to be husband (if J and S come from China that is...which they should.) That's incredibly exciting and I seriously wish it were sooner.

That's all I can remember for now.

10-29-08

I was traveling on a train with two other people. At one point they started getting in a fight so I suggested we get off and eat some food. One person of us three hadn't eaten in a really long time.
I guess one of the people there was Sebrina, my sister in law, so she gestured to the conductor that we needed food. She did that by opening a styrofoam takeaway box filled with food...
Everyone on the train were happy to get off and take a break. I was suprised, I thought they'd all get pissed because we were supposed to be on a speedy train and it was taking forever already. When we all got out to find some food, the girl that we made them stop the train for decided she needed to find her hot pink boots right then. She was worriedly rummaging through all of the luggage in the back, taking it all out just to be sure they had her boots. Sebrina was annoyed. But apparently she needed those boots to put inside the waterproof boots we will use later to trudge through deep waters. She knew that and was ensuring she was ready.
Parts of the track were missing and in their absence they had lied down piles of large rigid rocks.
We were headed for Chicago, but we were in another country.

Then Vanessa and I decided to jump off the train and forget about the whole journey. (Vanessa wasn't originally there with me. I don't know when she came into the dream.) We snuck off the train at night and were left at a remote train stop in the middle of nowhere. We danced around for a few minutes, then pretended to be really stupid people who couldn't figure out how to get out of the parking lot. We locked arms and each started walking opposite directions so that we would be pulling on one another and not be able to continue. We cracked up about it. Then decided to move on, unlock arms and walk normally. Once we made it around the dark alleyway/corner of the decrepit station building we were on a path leading straight to the gym at Western. We went for a workout. Inside, Liam and another familiar person I can't remember now, were there taking turns on a machine. We ran up to them and I told Liam all about our adventure and how we got off the train because it was so tedious.


There was also something about hair....maybe a salon...

things i've been doing

I saw the circus last night and it was awesome.
I made it a life goal that if I have kids, I will take them to see the circus while they are still...kids. Because that show was mind blowing for me, as a grown person, so i can't even imagine how incredible it would have been for a young mind. Having not been to a circus before, i don't have the vocabulary to describe the event well, so I'm not going to. Instead, you should go to see a circus show. One thing I will say is that during the intermission I lied down and closed my eyes, resting my back from the cross-legged position we were sitting in on the floor. When I opened them there was a green stilted monster on for legs standing above me looking down at me.

The day before that I carved a pumpkin at a friend's house.

And before that built a cake with Taylor for Maryann. I recruited Taylor to help with the building parts like cutting the tops off to make the cakes flat and laying the fondant. Yes, fondant. It didn't work that well because it kept melting to itself, being primarily sugar, but it tasted alright. The design is a drawing of Bjork's from off of her Greatest Hits album. In place of the word Bjork, I frosted Birth with an umlaut over the "r." :)

10-23-08

Last night I dreamt I was rejected.

But then I dreamt of going back to China! It was a weird mixture of scenes. Meeting a random girl that wanted to practice English, then going to the squat toilets with her.
Talking with Justin and Sebrina about where to eat, then sitting down at this fried food and noodle store, which of course was next to three other equally appealing fried food and noodle stores. Walking around in the rain. Sitting at a table with the Chinese girl and a bunch of other native English-speakers.
She was left out of the conversation mostly, but after a while she turned to me and said something that's the equivalent of "what's up?". I responded with something that meant "not a lot". Our casual back and forth made me think she knew English really well. Understanding and using colloquial phrases appropriately seemed like a good sign. (The words we actually spoke were jibberish. I wish I could remember the exact sounds, but it was like goddlefaba moo? shnakee dadle...sort of not really, but maybe?)

It's my first dream about China since being back! I'm happy to know my concentrated conscious thoughts of China yesterday leaked into my subconscious firings for the night.

just a boring recount of an emotional day

Today turned out to be a sort of emotionally tumultuous day.

I went to my painting professor having a breakdown, deciding to start over on a project even though we're already halfway through the time to make it in. It just became something I didn't want to work with anymore and wasn't going to turn out in any way I would be pleased with. She was understanding of my emotional reaction and supportive of my decision. She even said I had integrity for starting over at this point because it showed that I recognized I wasn't doing something as well as I could. She apparently didn't think the painting was as bad as I did. She did however agree that it would be better as an installation. I was painting stacked televisions with cropped parts of Mao's face on each screen, making up a full image of his face. It seemed pointless. Why move that concept to a canvas when you could actually use televisions? So painting it was just tedious. Hopefully I'll actually be able to realize that installation if I can speak to someone and figure out how to break up his face on screens.
Changing plans meant I had to go to the store and get a new canvas. Luckily I don't need to build this one because she understands the time crunch. And then figure out what I was going to paint. I bought the canvas, bussed it back to school, then walked home to figure out some new images. I brought them back for her to see, and it wasn't suitable for the project's guidelines. I got upset again, and just sat there trying to think of how I could fix things. I must have looked mad, so she asked why I was pissed. That's when I cried. I didn't want her to feel I was angry with her, so I explained it all. It felt like failure upon failure. And this is my last painting class so I've been feeling this pressure that I should have things figured out by now. I'm a senior and after this I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I want to stick with the medium. And to not be happy with the beginning of the first real project in this painting class felt horrible and more confusing. I also told her how I've been doubting myself, feeling like I can't really paint. She assured me that wasn't true, that she had seen from the first series that I could if I set my mind to it.
Anyway, she was supportive and I'm glad that I was able to have a meltdown with her. The thoughts had been running around my head, and I definitely was feeling anxiety when I was painting...but the reasons weren't clear until I spewed them out at her.

10-22--08

I dreamt I was living with a family that I know. Their parents have recently decided to divorce so it was a stressful place to be.
I'm not sure if I was living with the father or the mother. It was like they took turns with the house along with the kids.
The woman hated the neighbors, but the man loved them. The neighbors complained to me about it. I tried reconciling the differences by explaining to the neighbors how the two of them are very different people, but both really lovely if you give them a chance.
The neighbor guy just shrugged my words off his shoulders and walked away.
I remember looking into their house and seeing the whole family at dinner, sitting prim and proper.
There was an enormous paper bag in the kitchen. It was about a person's length wide and half that tall. It had recycling in it, mostly bottles. The woman was really upset about this, and cleaned up after her ex-husband spitefully. She also moved a desk so that his favorite spot to sit was no longer available. She moved the desk up against the wall where that seat normally was, in order to "make room for more seats on the other side."

It was all really uncomfortable, being involved in their lives, knowing they were just trying to hurt each other.

goobledigook

After getting to school, still feeling like I was dreaming, things went very slowly and slightly surreal-y.
Every conversation I had with my friends, teachers, and acquaintances were painfully awkward. I just felt like I couldn't communicate most things properly, and definitely was failing at any casual banter.

Then in painting I had the longest dejavu I've ever had in my life. My professor was speaking to me about what I should do to make my painting better and the whole time I felt like I could see who was walking down the hall outside the room. I imagined each one walking towards me, making eye contact. All I wanted to do was run out there and see if it was reality in the moment, but I couldn't. I had to stay there listening to her feedback. Hopefully I didn't offend her because I know I must have either looked spacey, upset with her, or like I was completely ignoring her advice because I tried looking in her eyes but I couldn't engage in any conversation because I felt like I wasn't standing there with her.

On a related note, I understand my sister now. I understand why she used to say things like "I think I have a tumor." Because I think I have a tumor. Maybe not really, but today along with the inability to communicate on a normal level, and the intense dejavu, I've been having a throbbing piercing pain in the back of my brain.

And this isn't as strange, but I got a kick out of it. On the way into the gym today I overheard a couple girls.
"What are you going to do today?"
"The treadmill."
"Dido."
The word "dido" is just so rare it seemed noteworthy.

I feel like my conversations today would have been more appropriate if only they went something like:
"Hey, how's your day going?"
"Oh...Alright. I think I have a tumor."
"Dido."

10-21-08

Last night I had probably the strangest dreams I've ever had. So strange I can't even explain them. I can say though that one of the dreams was about someone else's dreams and I was attempting to have dreams like theirs.

I also slept something like 12 hours. I think my circadian rhythm is off...

Robin Pecknold

Fleet Foxes

Saw Fleet Foxes on campus last night. They were amazing.
I would think everyone left that concert with a heart limp from all the emotional kneading. I did.

And I, along with every other girl who have seen them, is in love with the lead singer. His voice is heavenly.
The band is funny as a group too. They chat between songs, and collectively act self conscious.


An interesting thing about the concert is that I kept thinking of 30 or so years later, looking back to it as a memory. Thinking of the current as the past, I looked around realizing everyone was so young--the band, me, my friends, the rest of the crowd. I was thinking of how it's just like when my parents would go see concerts at my age or so (I would assume they did that at some point...) I also felt reassured everything would turn out okay. That one day, we will all be sitting around reflecting on the the fond memories from our youth, this being one of them.

It was weird feeling so conscious of being in an early stage of life.

10-17-08

I only remember a little bit, but I was with a fellow friend/art student who is a sculpture major. He, another guy I met last night but only spoke the words "Hi" when he arrived and "nice to meet you" when he left, and I were somewhere.
We were wandering around chatting. It was friendly. It felt like we had been friends for years.

We happened upon this place that was sort of campus, sort of the grocery store. There were stapled shut paper bags placed all over the floor and big wooden frames with glass, and other random objects on shelves. It was some event where people like us-college students, or people of that age in general-could come receive free things.

We went over. As soon as we got there a swarm of people came so there was an air of competition for the best bags and objects. I looked down into a bag and there were a bunch of cereal boxes. I didn't really feel like a bunch of cereal so I let someone peering over my shoulder lustfully have it. Then I noticed this enormous thing. It was about 6 ft tall 7 ft wide and 4 ft thick. It was on wheels and was built of sturdy wood frames built into attached compartments and shelves. There was one large section covered in glass, like a display case, that had a wall with cords melded onto it. I didn't understand that part, and neither did my friends. We joked about how odd it was and how much I love it. Then I noticed there was a coffee press, a bottle opener, half a bottle of juice, and two really big toasters. One could fit 4 slices, another could fit like 10. I didn't want the toasters, but I wanted the other things, so I took it home.

We were back at my apartment and I was plugging in the new dvd player that apparently was also on the contraption, and my friend played video games on my roommate's console.

10-14-08 continued more

um, wow. I keep remembering more of my dreams from last night.

I also dreamt that Ben, an art professor at Western, was putting on an exhibit. It was interactive, and you had to crawl through it. It was pitch black and there was a series of rooms that you pass through. Each had objects inside that you're meant to feel and navigate. In one of the rooms there were lights and little couches. I sat in there with Ben, his wife, and someone else. We were talking about his exhibit and how profound it was. At the end of the maze of rooms you end up in a concert hall/club. There were a ton of people there and it was loud and had tons of colorful, moving beams of light.

At another point I was with Maryann and her group of friends in that club. They were all extremely excited about a song coming up. She yelled at me, "It's butterflies." I thought about it. She got impatient. "You don't know that song?! what's wrong with you?!" I was a little hurt, and at that moment thought it might be a Bjork/M.I.A. song and said, "Oh right, I think I know it." Before I finished my reply she was running off to join the crowd. I just stayed there, not feeling very excited about it at all.
The song started and it was hip-hop, nothing I expected. I recognized it though. It was some famous song from years ago.

Later I was at a public pool with Maryann and there were a bunch of old people there. They all looked morose and tired. I sat on the edge watching because I didn't feel like swimming.
At one point a couple "hot" old ladies waded into the pool and all the other old people turned to stare. They were really strange looking though. They looked fake. One of the them had a body of a young white woman in her 20s or 30s with a crazy bathing suit that had a big hole to show off her belly. It had diamonds too. Then from her right shoulder and up she was black. It looked like an enormous birthmark. Then her hair was partially a black woman's hair, then with blond attachments. Her face was bloated and just plain scary.
The other lady had a similar body but her face was emaciated and hollowed out.
I didn't understand why the other onlookers thought they were so hot. They were creepy.



I think that's all I'm going to remember from last night...

10-14-08 continued

AND
I just remembered there was a whole other scene of my dream where I was on a bus, kneeling down in the cramped quarters in front of a man. My line of view was directly at his lap where he held a lively ferret.
The ferret was beautiful and made me nostalgic for when I had them. We chatted about ferrets and life. I was admiring it for a prolonged period and he was pretty joyous about showing off his pet. I kept rubbing my nose up against the ferret trying to smell it. I couldn't smell the regular ferret musk and it was impressive. I said "wow, a ferret that doesn't smell! when I had ferrets I constantly smelled like them. it was kind of gross." He said "Oh it's there, believe me." (I'm thinking now, as I rubbed my nose across the fur of the ferret, I was probably rubbing my nose across my blanket.)

The ferret was light brown and so pretty.

10-14-08

Alright, so I'm going to be very vague about this dream because it's too embarrassing to explain the details.
I was hanging out with a friend of mine and my mom. We were all lounging around casually, then a conversation about a disagreement between my friend and I came up. My friend decided he needed to explain things to my mom in private, so they went out on the balcony and spoke together while I was left inside to mope about what I didn't get to know. They left through a pristinely clean, probably recently washed glass sliding door onto a balcony with a roof. It was nighttime and raining. Also, my mom was younger.

Then when they came back in, my friend had a list he handed me. The words were scratched into it in phrases and bullet points scattered everywhere on a medium sized scrap of crumpled then re-flattened paper. The list continued on the other side. It was all the reasons why he and I should not be close friends any longer. I sort of remember there being a significance about how many reasons there were, but I'm not sure of that number. The reasons were offensive and I'm not willing to write them here, but suffice it to say* I woke up after that feeling both hurt and confused.

I was genuinely upset, recognizing it was probably untrue but not fully convinced. I felt like I could go find that note and read it, so instead of having to wake up and potentially face the reality of reading that horrible note, I decided to continue sleeping, past my Journalism class.
I think this is the first time I semi-consciously decided to skip a class because a dream has made me so sad.

*Is that the proper use of the phrase? I always mess up colloquial phrases like that one.

10-13-08

Last night my mom was my sister in law, Leila, and pregnant. My dad was Shaun.
They looked like my parents but they were in the life situation of my brother and sister in law.

One night, as I was visiting them in their new home, my mom was complaining of feeling pain everywhere from the pregnancy. Her whole body was aching. My dad wasn't doing anything about it. He was busy with work and didn't realize her pain, because she didn't say anything.
I just knew she was hurting, so I went to her and asked if there's anything I could do. She said no. I said, there must be. So she lied down on the couch and rested for a while.
I had arranged plans for us all to go to a poetry reading, and it looked like we wouldn't be able to go.
She was still hurting, and dad came over and sat down watching.
I told her she should take a bath, that it might relieve the pain. She decided that would be a good idea, and indulged in the bath. Her deciding to do that, meant dad had to stay home with her and I either could sacrifice the plans for the evening and stay too...because taking baths is serious business. People need to be around for that...Or I could go and leave mom in dad's hands.
They both encouraged me to go to the poetry reading. So I did.

But I thought I was late so I scrambled rapidly trying to find the right clothes to wear. I kept trying on outfits and thinking they looked stupid, and inappropriate for such a cultural event as a poetry reading. I tried on multiple things, until finally I settled on a Grey hoodie and a soft brown fake leather skirt. As I put on the skirt I thought about how weird it was that I was the kind of person who bought fake leather skirts, and wondered how I had become that way.
I went back out into the living room, saw the time, and realized I wasn't late at all. My dad scoffed politely at me, and I decided to head out, since I had finally settled on an outfit right in time for me to leave, and have the time to walk their casually.

I just arrived at the symphony hall, where the reading was to be held.
Then I woke up.

10-12-08

I've decided instead of typing out "dream" every time I post about a dream, I'll just type the date I had it.
This is a note I left on Maryann's page this morning, remembering last night's.

I dreamt we were on stage, dancing. The crowd was incredibly unenthusiastic, but we were having fun. I really wanted to dance crazy, but you were more relaxed. We put on Bjork music and the crowd hated it.
Afterwards a metal band were on their way to perform and they asked us to clean up the stage for them. I went wild and thought that was the best opportunity ever, so I swept up all the fall leaves and puddles that were on stage? We were standing by the entrance after rapidly cleaning and their black van arrived. I was jumping up and down of excitement. I think you were still pretty mellow, but sharing the excitement some.
:)

Fingertip

Alright, so the other two munchkins I mentioned that lived on this young boy's fingertip had even more incredible powers.
Porina Torch began using hers straight out of the womb so her name is a direct result of the show she put on in the hospital. Believe it or not, she actually came out her mother holding a torch. While resting in her mother's belly, over those nine months of creation, she was busy gathering stray atoms amongst the embryonic fluid and fusing them to make a torch. She, unlike most babies, knew before entering the world just how dangerous it can be, and she was getting prepared.
When they finally pulled her full body out and turned her over, she revealed her creation. She held it out at full arm's length, the slimy fluids stretching with it. The doctors were horrified at first, thinking it was an appendage gone terribly wrong. When they came to find out it was not attached to her body they thought it could be a deformed fifth twin. They were relieved to see that too was false. It had no face, no torso, arms, eyes, or pulse. They looked closer and realized it was a torch. Porina Torch knew what to do. She decided to let them see just how genius she was and spat on the top of the torch. It went up in flame and as the doctor and nurses backed up they watched from a short distance as all of the fluids that came with her were instantly dried up. She sat up and looked at them all---they thought in unison, "What an unusual baby."

Sky-a-melton who had just come previous to Porina Torch was in one of the nurses arms as all of this happened. She was watching, and was astonished. She wouldn't develop her powers until later in life, after a ginormous giant stepped on her leg as she lied on the long summer grasses contemplating the clouds. She spent nearly a month away as the tiny healing creatures mended her. But it turned out they reattached her veins, muscles, and bones slightly wrong. They followed the wrong instructions on their tiny healing book of mending instructions, accidentally following the directions from the special, secret chapter. The trouble was, the tiny creatures recently had a mutual friend who got married, they all went to party and were all hungover when they were first confronted with sky-a-melton's problem. It was that day they chose the page they would follow for this mending project.
There is a lot I could tell you about that tiny creature party, but I won't go into it, because that really has nothing to do with sky-a-melton's predicament, so back to her...



Sorry, intermission.
I'll need to continue this later. I need to make an emergency grocery store run.

tattoo dream

Last night I dreamt I found a little dead bird's skeleton. I thought it was so beautiful I decided to have an elongated image of it tattooed across the length of my arm reaching all the way to the top of my hand where it ended with the skeletal claws.

I woke up convinced and terrified that I had a fresh tattoo on my arm.

laughing dream

Normally I cry or have anxiety in my dreams. It's like my subconscious' way to expel those feelings that are bottled up.

But.
Last night I was cracking up with someone for what felt like a long time.
Don't remember a context, or who that someone was,
but awesome.
It was the kind of laughter that hurts everywhere. My face was using every muscle.

SIGUR ROS

I just got back from a concert by this Icelandic band, which you have probably heard of.
They were absolutely amazing. Their show definitely tied with both Flaming Lips and Tool.

At first Leila (my very preggo sister in-law) and I thought the opener was Sigur Ros, thinking they put on a terrible live show. But, it turned out the opener was a band that liked to pretend they were them, playing songs similar but very much not as good as the real thing.
We were more than relieved to find out we were wrong. When Sigur Ros began playing tears actually came to my eyes and my arms and legs were covered in goosebumps. It was beautiful. And it stayed beautiful the whole way through, when we were requested to sing along, when they had us all clapping in tune, when confetti and lights poured over us, and when we all clapped for encore and got two more, incredible songs. Just beautiful.

Oh, and speaking of her being pregnant, apparently my niece enjoyed the show too (or hated it. I'm leaning towards the former, because she is clearly a very hip baby). She was kicking her mom's innersides vehemently through the show. :)

So good.

The Story of Fingertip Land continues

The four munchkins I mentioned in a previous post were all from the same womb. They were quadruplets.
I said I would detail their superpowers, so here it goes...
Frenn Dewcomer had the amazing ability to be completely still and stop his internal clock. With a couple of deep breaths he was able to stop his heart from pumping, his hair and nails from growing, and his eyes from blinking. He used this power both as a means to make money as a street-side performer, and to escape the hard times, waiting to re-engage in life when things had simmered down. Unfortunately this power had to be used in moderation. If he waited too long to start breathing again his body could atrophy and he would be stuck in that spot forever, his upturned hat on the sidewalk brimming fuller and fuller with money that he would never have the chance to use.
His brother, Keremiah Buttocks had a very strange skill. He was always an avid reader, and he came to realize his powers one night when he fell asleep with an open book resting on his belly. When he awoke he felt different. He looked down to find that his body had transformed into the long-bearded wizard, Gandalf, from the story he had been reading late into the night. His only thought was how grateful he was for not having been reading Metamorphosis. What a nightmare that would be. He experimented with this new found ability and slept with a different book open on his belly each night. He could do whatever he wished as the character he woke up to be, but it only lasted until he needed to urinate. As soon as he emptied his bladder, the transformation reversed and he was back to his normal self. As you might have guessed, because he enjoyed playing the roles of his favorite characters, he opted to not drink the whole day, in hopes of sustaining the fantasies longer.

I'll explain the girls' powers next post.

It goes on and on my friends.

Last night at a friend's house a group of girls gathered to read excerpts from brilliant writers and poems by both silly and profound poets. As it turned out we were all menstruating, so it became a perfect chance to share the discomfort and heightened emotions.

I read a poem by Allen Ginsburg and since I've recently realized the lagging pain of a breakup from months ago, a breakup I honestly still wish could be mended, I read the second half through tears.
Here it is:

Lack Love
Love wears down to bare truth
My heart hurt me much in youth
Now I hear my real heart beat
Strong and hollow thump of meat

I felt my heart wrong as an ache
Sore in dreams and raw awake
I'd kiss each new love on the chest
Trembling hug him breast to breast

Kiss his belly, kiss his eye
Kiss his ruddy boyish thigh
Kiss his feet kiss his pink cheek
Kiss behind him naked meek

Now I lie alone, and a youth
Stalks my house, he won't in truth
Come to bed with me, instead
Loves the thoughts inside my head

He knows how much I think of him
Holds my heart his painful whim
Looks thru me with mocking eyes
Steals my feelings, drinks and lies

Till I see Love's empty Truth
Think back on heart broken youth
Hear my heart beat red in bed
Thick and living, love rejected.

I don't know. I'm not usually that sappy, at least not on the outside, but it felt good to publicly wallow in it for a night.

Then this morning, my sadness hangover combined with my having to run out the door ten minutes after waking, and my lack of skill with oils, made painting class nearly intolerable. I sat there, struggling to make a painting I could stand to look at, wanting to cry.
But 6 hours later, a group of us were off to Seattle for some art gallery explorations and that was awesome. The art wasn't that great, but being in a group of friends and communally ragging on it was incredible. (Some of it was sweet, just the majority was not.)

P.s. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, but they'll continue singing it forever just because it is the song that never ends...





...I don't know why but that song came to my head.

Fingertip Land

There was once a very extremely tiny village that resided in a speck on a young man's fingertip. In that village there lived, amongst many others, two boys by the names of Frenn Dewcomer, Keremiah Buttocks, and two girls, Porina Torch, and Sky-a-melton.
Everyone is this village had superpowers,
and I will detail them later because I'm tired right now...