just dreaming some more.

I was having an art show in a hotel lobby.
I was dressed up and schmoozing with the viewers. My paintings were on thick paper, nailed to the walls.

A young handsome guy came to me and told me he was interested in purchasing one of my paintings. I walked with him to the one he wanted. It was beginning to peel off the wall and I didn't understand why he wasn't judging me for my poor installation. I was embarrassed, but pretended it away.
The painting was simple, mostly shades of ochre with minimal form. The paint was thick. I remember thinking it was quite nice, seeing it for the first time in my dream, impressed by my subconscious painting. (not that I could duplicate it in real life.)

Then somebody I hadn't seen in some significant amount of time came walking in, strolling down a ramp into the main lobby. A girl was walking close-by him, with him.
Every thought, every emotion, every part of me focused in on him. I saw his face close-up. I saw the jacket he was wearing, and the way he bobbed side to side as he walked, grounding each step heavily.
I approached him and asked about the girl.
He explained her as a temporary. Just a girl that he was with, but didn't care about, followed up with a "but we'll be together later."
????
We went into a kitchen together and I intended to be angry but only mustered up confusion and hurt.

Later I was back with the guy interested in the painting and the guy just mentioned came by, admiring the painting with that girl in tow. It was painful to hear his compliments as he stood next to what was a stand-in for me, so I walked away, out of the dream entirely.


(Yesterday I was reading about the psychology of love about the varying attachment styles. There were words like trust, betrayal, and commitment being thrown around so I was thinking about what all of that means to me. Then I guess I conjured up this painful little scenario from those thoughts. Yay for emotional nightmares!)